okay. fuck. i need to talk about be my favorite. because jesus christ, this might be THE smartest show currently airing, which is a miracle at a time when la pluie is also airing.
so, this episode we learned more about kawi's and pisaeng's family backgrounds, and oh boy, is there a lot to unpack there... and it all works to explain why the original timeline was the way it was, why everything turned out so fucked up for both of them in the beginning.
(very rambly thoughts under the cut)
I loved today's episode of Be My Favorite, and here's something I never expected to say: I want to talk about Not. Specifically, I want to talk about the scene where Kwan asks Not to sign the book, because it's the crux of the episode and also gets at something I'm passionate about.
Not is an asshole; this has been well established. And my tiny flicker of worry that I'd be lured into some writerly fellow-feeling was quickly squashed when he said the most obnoxious "guy in your MFA" thing to Pear while handing her his book. He sucks and by all accounts his book sucks. He doesn't deserve encouragement.
But Kwan, seeing him in a moment of dejection, asks him to sign her copy of the book. She's not lying or trying to flatter him; she was telling him his book sucked before anyone else. And she tells him exactly why: because everyone needs encouragement, and it costs very little to give it. What I love about this is that the show isn't trying to argue that Not deserves encouragement. It's just saying, hey, he's human, he has feelings, and it doesn't hurt to be kind.
Max makes the same decision with Pisaeng at the coffee shop. He clearly sees exactly what's going on, and he's probably seen this plenty of times before. Fledgling gays can do a lot of damage as they flail their way toward self-understanding, and every older queer person I know has had to draw lines at some point around how much of that damage they'll absorb in the process of helping out the younger ones. We see Max first decide Pisaeng isn't his problem - then we see him reconsider. He can afford to offer a little kindness and patience.
The kindness Kwan and Max both offer ripples out, and ends with Kawi and Pisaeng both being able to be kind and brave with each other on the rooftop. I don't know where we go from here, but this felt like a watershed moment for the story, and it hinged on very small choices, to be kind and patient even when there was no obligation to.
This is a time travel story, so it's about small changes having big effects. And it's a story connecting university years, when people are still shaping themselves, to a decade later when patterns have been more strongly established. Even someone like Not is malleable right now - he responds to Kwan's kindness with a similarly low-cost gesture that means a huge amount to Kawi. I don't know that Not is ever going to become a great person, but maybe he moves away from whatever dire future has been hinted at. Or maybe he just behaves a little better sometimes, and gives our focal characters the space to grow instead of crushing them back as we saw him do with Kawi in the flashback.
In the beginning of the show, almost all the characters were unhappy or unlikeable or both. Now we're seeing how things can change as they keep reaching out to each other with honesty, with courage, and with kindness.
I used to believe what people wanted the most was miracles.
When in fact, chances are more crucial.
Chances to realize, to understand, and to embrace everything that happens to them.
And I know we can’t fix every ache inside of us, but I shouldn’t have to pretend it’s not there, either.
TED LASSO S03E05: SUNFLOWERS
